Domestic Violence

I went to bed last night thinking domestic violence. No wonder, I woke up this morning and that of course was what was on my mind. Anyway, since it had been on my mind for a while, I decided to write about it.

In recent times, stories have been rife about how men have been physically abusing their wives. The story that broke my silence was the one I heard on TV yesterday about how a man poured hot, boiling (I have to emphasize) beans on his nursing wife. I was alarmed. What could be the reason for that?

Anyway, I had to visit Wikipedia just to be sure that my thoughts were in line of domestic violence and I wasn't being too emotional. According to Wikipedia, "domestic violence known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence and intimate partner violence (IPV) has been broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviours by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as dating, marriage, family, friends or cohabitation". I was quite surprised to see friends.

A lot of times, when we talk of domestic violence, people go on and on about physical abuse. The one that inflicts a scar for the world to see, the one that gives another human being a black eye and some broken bones or even the ultimate, a burial. That is only a slice of the cake as far as I am concerned. Before the ultimate level of physical abuse, since domestic violence is a pattern, there must have been other small forms of abuse including threat, intimidation, silent treatment (cold shoulder), economic deprivation, emotional abuse including manipulation or control. Everybody has an opinion the last time I checked and we are all entitled to ours. If we all slept facing the same direction, the world would be boring. That is why I think God made us have different time zones and different physical attributes. So we can understand that He is concerned about our differences as well as our similarities so we have to be able to live with them.

Although we can categorise the physical aspect of domestic violence as male dominated, I would say both sexes use different forms of domestic violence to have their ways in relationships. (I am guilty and I am a victim).

I recently read (Rick Warren: 2002, The Purpose Driven Life)"The most important things in life are not things, but people". Relationships are crucial, vital and very important. How do you treat the people you meet and relate with? Do you make them feel worthless and useless? The ways we relate affect our self esteem. We were not created to dominate other human but to have a relationship with them. We are equal not better than, contemporaries not superiors . As humans, God made us mates.

In conclusion, Proverbs 22: 24-25 (KJV)"Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul". Anyone who would leave you worse off in marriage, relationship or friendship is not worth a space on your shelf, your time, emotions or resources. You are beautiful within and without, let everyone you come in contact with see that and don't allow any gentleman or lady leave you with a scar (physically or emotionally) and a story to always apologise to the world for.