Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Never About A, B, C or D

Hello People
How are you doing?
How was your week?
Hope you read the post published last week and aren't too mad that I was missing for two whole weeks.
Anyway, I am really glad to be back.
I am working towards our obligatory Tuesday dates again.
Seems like life was a significantly more orderly then.
But I still owe you the 2 post I missed.
The plan is to have a minimum of 52 posts by the end of 2017.
Can I hear an "Amen!"

This morning, I remembered some childhood days.
Then, my mum was the most difficult person in the whole world to me and I will be illustrating why with some of the scenarios below:
Scenario 1,
I make a request + Daddy said "yes" + Mummy said "No" = NO
Scenario 2, 
I make a request to Mummy first (my naive way of campaigning) + Mummy is not pleased + Mummy discusses with Daddy = NO
If you made a request, my mum would typically ask you why.
Scenario 3,
Me: Mummy, please can I go to school with this pen?
Mum: Why?
Me: Because my friend brought her daddy's own to school yesterday
Mum: NO

I learnt really fast that if I wanted anything because anybody else had or wanted it, the answer was almost certainly NO. Why, I wondered. And she would answer "I don't think you need it. Your only reason was because your friends had it". My "this friend had it" reason was never good enough for her. So one day in my frustration, when she asked why I wanted something, I answered not sure of her response "Because I like it" and viola, my Mum said I could have it. Wow!!! So I could get something just because I wanted it and not "I want it because ... had it?" That simple?! 

At the beginning of the week, I found myself telling God I wanted something but in a different way. The request in itself was not bad. Until I felt God decided to play mummy on me and ask me why I wanted it that way and the only honest answer I had was "...because A had it this way". Why did I need my request only based on what A had and not what I really wanted? Imagine you went to a restaurant and saw guests having dinner. You looked a someone's plate, then called the waiter to say you wanted the exact content on one of the guests plate without checking the menu or asking any questions. After all, you can see the food physically. The food gets to your table and then you remember that you are allergic to seafood and the meal was really seafood pasta. How would you feel?

My admonition is that you spent time identifying your real needs and wants, not focusing on how A has it or B doesn't. How yours must just be different because you intend to make C jealous. 
Sometimes, #pepperthem yields no true satisfaction.
I hope my speech wasn't too long today.
Have a wonderful week.
Loads of love, hugs and kisses as always,
Miss Onakz...

Friday, July 14, 2017

Is Burning Out a Fear?

Hello People
How are you doing?
How have you been in the last 2 weeks?
I am determined that this week (Week 3) would not end without a post so anyhow this soup cooks, please manage it. We will be back transmitting fully by the next post.

First of all, I apologise for not writing for 2 whole weeks. It was not without reason.
Week 1 - Honestly had the writer's block. I logged into blogger more than 3 times that week but I was very blank. Try as I did, I couldn't find a message that week. I have started looking at some people, especially Pastors with a new set of eyes. Week in, week out, they must deliver a word to us. Then sometimes, you and I will sit in the congregation thinking to ourselves, "This sermon isn't on point this week o..." Lord will have mercy on us.
Week 2 - By Sunday morning (July 2, 2017) right in church during the service, I was happily scribbling away the post for last week and how I was going to give it to you guys hot after missing one week. However, by Monday afternoon, I was running a temperature, feeling body pain, cold and hot... Long story short, I fell ill and wasn't able to write anything.
Perfect health is really a privilege and after over a week of being ill, I am more grateful for life and health.

Being ill is one of the things I hate the most and below are a few reasons why.
1. I am not a very expressive person so it is always difficult for me to explain exactly how I feel especially when I am unwell.
2. I have a constant fear which is 'Am I "kera-ing"?' Pardon my Yoruba in English but I am even struggling to translate it. 'Am I really in this much pain or am I looking for empathy?'
3. I always have to think of my body and what I have or haven't done to it in a while. "Why do I have to pay my body this much attention?"

The fourth reason I hate being ill is maybe my greatest fear or thought on illness and that is why it is worthy of a paragraph on its own.
How do I know when I am 100% back to myself and how do I ensure that I don't fall ill again?
Ladies and gentlemen, let me just put it out there that I have the fear of burning out physically. After I recover, I always feel like I never want to fall ill in my life again so how slowly should I take things forgetting that with the illness, tons of work have already pilled up and life itself is a race.

I am not sure what fears may be keeping you from living your best or like me, you are just scared of physically burning out so you really want to take things very slowing because you fear being sick again.
Sometimes, you miss out on new and interesting things in just just because you are scared. Anyway, this post is just for me to encourage myself.
Miss Onakz, now that you are better, get back to life, get back to work, get back to achieving your goals and get back to living your best life now.
I don't know if you are like me and you really need a pep talk. To think it is already middle of the year and you still have tasks and goals that need to be achieved before the end of this year. Don't worry, from time to time, even the best of us need some self motivation speech.

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.
I Samuel 30: 6 (King James Version)

Have a wonderful weekend as always
Filled with love, hugs and kisses,
Miss Onakz...

Friday, June 23, 2017

Ageing with Care?

Hello People!!!
How are you doing?
How did your week go?
How are the preparations for this long weekend (for those of us in Nigeria) coming?
Any great plans for the holiday?
Plans to turn up anywhere?
I just might be available to attend.

By the way, does anyone know of any tool that can write down my thoughts? Even if it jots them somewhere for my use later, I don't mind. Because a million and one urgent things have been flooding my mind of late. 

Even after 2 weeks, I am still receiving birthday messages and gifts. Special thanks to everyone that has thought about me and reached out this season. I really appreciate your thoughts and gifts. 
Thank you so much.

As a growing child, I always admired adults and I generally thought they were all very good-looking. There was something about adulthood to me that made people look very nice. I am not sure what I think it was but even looking back now, I am still struggling to think of any adult that I thought was anything close to ugly. I honestly cannot remember any. Maybe it's the innocence of a child, I really don't know? But just a few years down the line. Oh well, can over 2 decades be considered as few? I have found the very same people I considered then to be beautiful and handsome to now be ageing. Some gracefully and others, not so much. Isn't that an irony?  Seeing them now also gets me worried about my ageing self. Will my hair be all grey or will I have just streaks of grey hair? But hey, I won't think to much about that yet. I still have a LONG way to go, right?

Last week was quite a sad one in my house. We woke up on Thursday morning to get a call that we lost a family friend just a few hours before. Everyone asked the usual hows and whys and we were generally sober. The following day, Friday morning, we got another call. We lost another family friend. These 2 men were well under age 70 with children that are young adults and generally just starting life. I immediately felt weak and very drained.

Well, I guess this post is just to remind us that we are growing and we also have parents, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc around who are now ageing. If my dad had me at age 27 and I am 24 years old, it simply means he is already 51 years old. Just like that!!! Not as active as he was when he was in his 20s and maybe not as determined as his 30s and 40s. But of course a lot wiser, with a lot of life experiences and is generally happier about some of the things we consider small. If any grand parent is alive, imagine what age they too would be too by now? Talk less of their siblings and friends, the very visitors that came to your house while you were growing.

How are you taking care of the generation(s) before you? 
Does it really matter to you that they aren't able to do quite as much as they previously could?
What little ways are you trying to make life happier for them?

23To his father he sent the following: ten male donkeys loaded with the good things of Egypt, and ten female donkeys loaded with grain and bread and provision for his father [to supply all who were with him] on the journey... 27When they told him everything that Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the wagons which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of their father Jacob revived.
Genesis 45: 23 and 27 (The Amplified Version)

Have a wonderful weekend
Remembering that our parents don't need mansions in the South of France
Just the phone calls, check ins, little gifts and our own successes can be enough to take care make them happy.
Loads of love, hugs an kisses to you from me
As always,
Miss Onakz... 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Undiminished Value

Hello People
How are you doing?
How is your week going?
I feel like I have to give you gist from the birthday because I told you I didn't know how the day was going to turn out and how I was going to celebrate.
Well *drumrolls and batting eye lids*, I had one of the best birthday ever. 
Guess why?
I received calls, read messages, received gifts, slept very well, ate very good food with a lot of cake and was very well pampered by family and friends. 
I'm already thinking of what to do next year. 


Well, for this week I really want to be short and straightforward. 
But maybe I should still say a story.
A few years ago, I think it was a nice Sunday evening. My mum, sisters and I were in the room throwing our usual banters and then my tongue decided to get a mind of its own. I said some not nice things and guess who was very upset by my statements? My mum. After I finished, I don't remember if I apologised immediately, but at night, we all went to bed especially me feeling quite bad. Very early the following morning, I went to my mum's room to apologise again after I realised how upset she must have been. But guess what I found? As soon as I got into her closet, she was already dressing up and ready to help me get to work. Like she had already forgotten my misbehaviour or she still decided to love me despite my wrong doing the previous day. 
Irrespective of my misconduct, my value had not diminished in her eyes.
She looked beyond the Miss Onakz that really upset her the day before. She never saw me as silly or stupid or foolish (Oh well, even if she has, she's never told me so).


Imagine that!
Despite my inadequacies, my mum still thinks the world of me and even knowing that she does, I will never do anything that would hurt her deliberately. .
How much more with God? If my mum thinks so much of me, I can only imagine and find out from His word what God thinks. 
Irrespective of what I do, my value is not reduced in His eyes. However, that does not mean I should continue to be a nuisance  or continue to act however I please.

[The Lord answered] “Can a woman forget her nursing child
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
“Indeed, I have inscribed [a picture of] you on the palms of My hands;
Your city walls [Zion] are continually before Me.
Isaiah 49: 15 -16 (The Amplified Bible)

Although your value is never diminished in God's eyes, please make sure you live a life that always honours Him.
Have a wonderful week honouring your maker.
Loads of love, hugs and kisses.
As always, 
Miss Onakz...

Friday, June 09, 2017

My Happy Birthday Post

Hello People
How are you doing?
If you are reading this post on the day I scheduled it to publish, yay!!!
It is my birthday today.
Family and friends have been asking for a while how I intend celebrate but I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to do.
Some friends even went ahead to create a group for birthday plans and fun things. Guess what? As the wet blanket that I am, I told them I wouldn't be participating so the plans were cancelled.
Even as I write, I still have no clue how I intend to celebrate.
All I know is that as a foodie, I will be sure to eat very well. 
Fitfam wouldn't count this weekend.

As I have gotten older, a few simple/normal things have started to make me very emotional. 
Guess what one of them is?
"The Happy Birthday Song"
It makes me wonder how I got where I am now.
How did time run so fast?
When did I become an adult?
And how are the decades flying by?
Remember the post I wrote last year around my birthday too celebrating the faithfulness of God and how He has brought me this far.

Every year, but in particular this past year has been a huge roller coaster for me.
Very happy, happy, indifferent and sad moments.
But guess what? These moments have all been awesome too.
It has really been a year that I really want to talk about more stories on my life, only to realise that the stories aren't complete yet. 
I have and I'm still learning to be better, stronger and nicer.
Maybe more disciplined too and more passionate perhaps.
More endearing and more determined.

I will leave you with one secret only my nuclear family members know about me for now. Maybe I'll be revealing more secrets about Miss Onakz as we go along. The secret is that I love hymns (feel free to call me old fashioned) and in the spirit of my birthday and while I get off to look for how to celebrate, I leave you with two hymns I have recently fallen in love with.



Have a wonder filled weekend
And Happy Birthday to Me
Loads of love, hugs and kisses from me to you as always,
Miss Onakz...


P.S- There is a Hallelujah Challenge currently on Instagram organised by Nathaniel Bassey. Please feel free to participate.