Pause, Wait, Just Listen and then Empathise

Hello People

How are you doing?

Hope July was very amazing and August has gotten off with a great start for you.  Can I still say start when it is the 11th already? One third of the month is gone and it is just 2 weeks to pay day. I am so sorry again for not writing at all last month. Felt like my life in July was on fast forward. When will I post regularly and stop apologising or giving excuses for goodness sake? Please accept my apology and pardon my disappearing act.

By the way, I have received a number of complaints from some of you (My mama inclusive) about not being able to add comments to a post. Sincere apologies again. I think it may be because of the reCAPTCHA functionality where you have to certify that you are not a robot before your comment can be visible especially with people commenting as anonymous. For those using Google Accounts, please try to sign in before adding your comments. I will also check on which browsers are most compatible with blogger and let you know.

Now, to the issue of the day. Two days ago my very dear Tola Okelola reminded me and shared a post I wrote over four years ago  on Facebook on how we should take time to listen (For this post, it can also mean to empathise). We went on to talk about how that post was still relevant even today. 

For those of you that know me quite well, I sometimes like to form "Team Independent". This according to me means 'live your life and I will live mine peaceably' or 'I am not easily influenced'. 'If I can help or support anybody, I will at a cost that does not inconvenience me and if you can also do the same for me when I am in need, please do. If not, life continues, no hard feeling.'

Now to the gist. There is someone I always thought was “too demanding” for me at least. So anytime we met, I will form activity to avoid one on one conversations with her so that she does not “harass” me. This really lasted for a very long time, years sef. Oh boy, last week, when I heard her story, sadness gripped my heart. I started asking "Why did she not say anything since?" 

Then on Monday morning, I found a piece of paper in my wardrobe (I can’t remember where or when I wrote it) but it said:

 "We must learn to listen closely to one another, not simply because it is polite, but because it is possible that we might learn something important about ourselves, become better human beings and build a better world in the process" - Amjad Saleem

Also, the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey talks about its sixth habit as synergy (interdependence). It allows us to learn things we are not likely to discover by ourselves through others. When people begin to sincerely interact with each other, and are open to each other's influence, they will begin to gain new insight on themselves, others and the world at large.

All I realised in those moments were my own selfishness. How I was too preoccupied living my own life and making a success of it that I did not realise that in her state of being "too demanding", she was speaking her aches but I was just not listening.

Reading Galatians 6:2 (English Standard Version) "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." What if listening is a way to bear someone's burden? What if listening helped us to fulfil the law of Christ?

I therefore charge you again this day, as I did on 23^rd July, 2012, please listen to the words and actions of those around you. You will be really amazed at what you will learn about yourself and others.

Very special shout out to Presido and Kemi Adeyemi for checking on my writing and making me fulfil my promise of writing this week...xxx

Shout out to you too for bearing with me till now, reading my post and missing me when I don't write.

Have an amazingly beautiful rest of the week.

Trailer loads of hugs and kisses.

Miss Onakz...