The Alternative Besides Worrying

Hello Fam,

How are you doing? Hope you've had a fabulous week so far. Here is wishing you a more beautiful rest of the week. I am so sorry I couldn't drop a post last week. It was due to circumstances beyond my control. But well, now that I’m here, let's roll...

Everyone that is close to me knows that I LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Special thanks to Deewai for buying those CDs (Season 1 to 3) back in uni days. It is really the highlight of my weekend now. After watching Grey's on a Friday morning, I feel like my weekend has officially begun😉. By the way, I like Japril. Anyway, last week was the finale for Season 12. I am sorry for being a bore to those that don’t watch it but please still stick with me (In Amelia Shepherd’s voice).

Anyway, after watching Season 12 Episode 23 two weeks ago, I thought "it's just one week left, right? I'll survive till next week (now last week Friday)". As Wednesday last week came (just about 30 hours for the series to air o), my body and brain could no longer handle the wait/tension/apprehension/all the emotions I was feeling. I ran to Google, the human trusted friend with all the answers and started to search, "Grey's Anatomy Season 12 spoilers", "Grey's Anatomy Season 12 finale spoilers", "Grey's Anatomy spoilers", "Grey's Anatomy Season 12 Episode 24 spoilers".

With all the searches, I didn't find anything. I was tired, more anxious and more panicky. The tension and search even continued till I woke up at 3:30am to watch it online. Even while watching, I still wanted to know what happened in the end. I was still searching on Google. Then it hit me, that's how I am with life too. While I going on with the regular daily living, I am also very anxious of what will happen in the future.

Life questions flood my heart too. "What happens after this job?" "Where is my career headed?" "How will(am) I impact(ing) people/the world?" "Am I making the right decisions?" "What will I be known for?" "How much will I have saved by December?" Who will I marry?" "When will I marry?" "How many children will I have?" "Who will my children look like?" "Will they be well behaved?" "Will they be fat or slim, tall or short, light or dark skinned?" "Do I want my son to have a mini Afro when he is young?" "Do I want a girly girl for a daughter? " "What if I have twins or triplets? " "How will I take care of my parents when they are old?" "Who will I mentor?" etc. The list goes on and on in my mind. I'm just stopping here so you get the idea.

Did my worry play Grey's Anatomy in my mind so I knew the end before it aired?

Answer- NO

Would I have felt differently if I knew what happened at the end before I watched it?

Answer- NO

Would waiting to watch it have removed some elements of it before time?

Answer- NO

Are they paying me for watching it or having anxiety about the end?

Answer- NO

Therefore, why was I too anxious? Why did wanting to know the end become an obsession even before the show ended?

After thinking and thinking, do I get any answers?

Answer- Capital NO

In the same vein with the Grey’s Anatomy questions, I also asked about those my life questions too.

With all my questions above, who has it helped?

Answer- Certainly not me

Has it reduced my anxiety about life and love and living?

Answer- NO

However, I'm learning to trust God for good outcomes (In April Kepner’s voice now). That all these things will be fine just as Grey's still ended the way it did despite all my anxieties beforehand. I will be fine too and life and love and living will be just great. Mine is just to plan based on what I know.

Philippians 4:6-7 says "6Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Have a beautiful “un-anxious” rest of the week.

Lots of Hugs and Kisses

Miss Onakz...